Post by Clopin on Dec 26, 2010 23:39:58 GMT -5
Have trouble with long posts? This might help. Let's say you have a sentence like this:
She was crying in a corner.
First, ask who is she? She doesn't help who you're talking about.
Deni was crying in a corner.
Now, why is she crying? Did her boyfriend die, did a kid die, what happened that made her cry in a little corner?
Deni was crying in a corner, sad that she had just been beaten up by gangsters with bats.
OK, now what's she feeling, what's she thinking?
Deni was crying in a corner, sad that she had just been beaten by gangsters with bats. What had she done to make them attack her? They had no right to do that! She would probably live in fear now.
Now, describe what her surroundings look like. A corner tells nothing about where she is besides it's a corner!
[Deni was crying in a corner down a dark alley where cat's lied around, hissing at her. She was sad and angry about being beaten by gangsters with bats. What had she done to make them do that? They had no right to do that! She would probably live in fear all her life now.
We're almost done now! Just add a few details, such as what she looks like, details about how she feels, and her surroundings.
As Deni cried deep down in a corner of a dark alley, cats walked by her, but Deni didn't care. After being beaten with bats by gangsters, she couldn't care less about some stupid cats. A question kept pounding about in the blond girl's mind. Why did they attack her? Tears streamed down her green eyes as she was frustrated at what they had done to her. She would now have t live a life in fear because of this day. "Why me? Why me? What did I do?" the fair-skinned girl yelled up into the sky. No one was there to help her, and she was sure those gangsters would come back very soon. I hope this can help you RPers with RPing!
She was crying in a corner.
First, ask who is she? She doesn't help who you're talking about.
Deni was crying in a corner.
Now, why is she crying? Did her boyfriend die, did a kid die, what happened that made her cry in a little corner?
Deni was crying in a corner, sad that she had just been beaten up by gangsters with bats.
OK, now what's she feeling, what's she thinking?
Deni was crying in a corner, sad that she had just been beaten by gangsters with bats. What had she done to make them attack her? They had no right to do that! She would probably live in fear now.
Now, describe what her surroundings look like. A corner tells nothing about where she is besides it's a corner!
[Deni was crying in a corner down a dark alley where cat's lied around, hissing at her. She was sad and angry about being beaten by gangsters with bats. What had she done to make them do that? They had no right to do that! She would probably live in fear all her life now.
We're almost done now! Just add a few details, such as what she looks like, details about how she feels, and her surroundings.
As Deni cried deep down in a corner of a dark alley, cats walked by her, but Deni didn't care. After being beaten with bats by gangsters, she couldn't care less about some stupid cats. A question kept pounding about in the blond girl's mind. Why did they attack her? Tears streamed down her green eyes as she was frustrated at what they had done to her. She would now have t live a life in fear because of this day. "Why me? Why me? What did I do?" the fair-skinned girl yelled up into the sky. No one was there to help her, and she was sure those gangsters would come back very soon. I hope this can help you RPers with RPing!
